Small Thoughts on a Big God

Severe Mercies

2012-01-10T12:08:00.000-08:00

First, I need to ask for your mercy (if there are any of you still checking in on this thing, which is doubtful) for neglecting this space for three months. Oops. Please forgive.

As I've been reflecting on 2011 and preparing for 2012, one piece of scripture that has proven itself in the past year, and is the mindset I hope I carry with me throughout '12 is Philippians 4:4-7: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I love Paul's one word command to the Philippians -- Rejoice! Always! Looking back on the past year, there are points when I did the very opposite of rejoicing -- I grieved, worried and questioned God. Seeing the place the trials of 2011 have taken me to today makes me want to dance with joy. In the worst times that 2011 brought, I had reason to rejoice, because God was near, and was working all things for my good out of His love for me. I didn't need to worry about the curve balls thrown at me, or the direction my life was going, because I was in God's hands.

I can so identify with what Elisabeth Elliot calls God's "severe mercies." God had and has such better plans for us, as His people, than we had and have for ourselves apart from Him, and His mercies in our lives sometimes inflict pain because they tear us from the things we sinfully cling to, in order to direct us to the better plans and purposes God has for us. What a celebration, when the morning comes and we are able to see how God proved Himself faithful amid our despair and unbelief. Such a weird and amazing feeling to be able to rejoice over the very thing that once brought so much pain.

May you rejoice, trust and pray in all circumstances in 2012, knowing that your Lord is near and wants to fill you with His life and peace.

Our "Christian" Nation?

2011-10-12T16:42:00.000-07:00

My brother, Evan, posted this article on my Facebook page, and I've been stewing on it for days now. First of all, it must be said that Tom Ehrich looks very dapper in his circa-1995 glasses, and what looks to be a jean business jacket (but to my dismay is most likely not). But, I digress. Not much about the article needs to be said because Ehrich says it all. All I can add is that I agree. And I feel convicted. And I don't know that we can ever be that Christian nation we claim to be this side of heaven. But I pray we can, and that person by person, we transform into a better picture of what Jesus would have our nation be. Christian means "little Christ." Looking at our consumer-driven, power-hungry, every-man-for-himself nation, I find it pretty audacious of us to label ourselves as a little-Christ. I can only imagine what Jesus would say... if there were words to express His sadness.

I needed a mirror...

2011-08-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

...and the book Radical has provided me exactly that. Let me explain. This summer our Monday night high school group has been studying Radical, written by David Platt. It has rocked my world and has begun answering the questions from my last post in ways I didn't see coming. Last night our small group took a look at the great commission -- something we study all the time in churches. Platt's point on the commission is that it's not an option, it's a command. Jesus demands that we "Go and make disciples of all nations." Not just your nation. Not just the nations that you're comfortable being in. We, the body of Christ, are to go to ALL nations. The peaceful and war-torn, the just and the corrupt, the rich and the poor. All. And as much as I can point to another part of that body and say that Jesus is commanding them to go to the war-torn, corrupt and poor, He's given me a hearty reminder and conviction that that command is for me. His plan of salvation for those in places that have not received the good news is through me (and the rest of His body). And while God never falls short, I do.

How has this begun answering my last post's doubts and questions? Let me explain. God has provided for all people. He has provided a way to meet their spiritual, as well as their physical, needs. The truth is that there is more than enough food, wealth and provisions to provide for all of God's creatures on this earth. He has made sure of it, and looking at how much we have in the US that we store up, hoard and waste, it is blatantly apparent that the resources are there. It's not God who has neglected His people. It's us, in our sin, who are failing to allocate God's provisions as He wills and desires. It's not His love that fails; it's mine, it's yours, it's ours. The saying "To whom much is given, much is required" has biblical roots and eternal truth engrained in its core. We are blessed with what we need, and are asked by God to take only that and then to do what it takes to get the rest to those who are in need of those very same things. The tragic thing is that our world will never be that idealic place where all look out for one another -- not this side of heaven at least. But the beautiful thing that I am clinging to today, especially considering the tragedy occuring in Somalia and so many other places in our world today, is that, as Elisabeth Elliot said, "God's story never ends with 'ashes'." If only I could see how I can give my all to putting an end to the ashes on this earth, and from there to have the selfless, bleeding heart willing to carry that out. That is the hard part.

I'm only human

2011-07-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

I spent some time stewing on Romans 8:28-39 this past weekend, as it was the focus of the sermon series and bible studies at my church, and while it is a piece of scripture I know well (I have clung to it many times when it felt like my world was falling apart or the sky was falling down on me in some way), it is such an importantly true and uplifting piece of God's Word to reflect back on. If you have not read it and digested it, do it now! To think about how Big and powerful God is -- above anything I can see, feel or come up against -- starts to blow my mind when I think about it too long. And to think that that God Loves little me unconditionally and unceasingly fills me with hope and peace knowing that no matter my circumstances, God is there and will use them for my good, even when my feelings or doubts tell me otherwise.

Here's the reason for the title of the post -- I will admit that I am having trouble digesting part of it, as my human mind can't comprehend how part of it can be true. In verse 35 Paul asks, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" In the context of the text, it proves to be a rhetorical question, with the implied answer being no one. No one and no thing can separate us from the love of Christ. Then he goes on to talk about things that can't and won't separate us from the love of Christ. He lists hardship, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger and sword. I'm with him on hardship, persecution, danger and even sword. I know -- and have experienced with some of those things (haven't come up against a sword yet) -- that God's love is bigger than those things and is there when we face them, promising us help, strength and deliverance in God's time and plan. Here's my beef with Paul, and my question for God -- I don't see where God is in famine and nakedness. Having spent time in areas ravaged by famine and poverty, I have faces and hearts that come to my mind's eye when I think of these things. And they are beautiful, precious faces and hearts, many of whom have cried out to God in their plight. And God promises in Matthew 6 that He will hear them, answer them and provide for them. And yet, too many die each day from malnutrition and go without clothes.

So I guess this is where faith and humility step in. Humility knowing that He is God and I am not, and in that my view is infinitely smaller than His and forever tainted with sin, which keeps me from seeing as He sees. And faith that, having seen and felt God's love triumph circumstances in my life and use them for good, He can and will do the same for those who are going without in ways I can't begin to imagine. I just hope that on that day I reach the pearly gates, He grants me the grace to answer what to Him must seem like some ridiculously silly questions.

Nashsplash 2011

2011-07-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

So Dave Matthews knows what he's talking about. It turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters. I got back on Tuesday from an amazing weekend with new and old best friends, and, while it didn't hurt that I was in my favorite place (Nashville) playing in waterfalls, dancing at a jamboree, climbing cliffs and swimming in a lake, what made the weekend so fantastic was the people I was with. If my trip was a little taste of heaven then I can't wait for the fellowship that awaits us there. I too easily forget what blessings laughter, joy, and friendship are; even moreso, I too often forget that God created those things out of his love for us and desire to see us emotionally and spiritually fed, free and alive. And today, I feel exactly that.

Psalm 22

2011-04-23T11:05:00.000-07:00

Reading Psalm 22 this Saturday between the bookends of Good Friday and Easter Sunday I am struck by the realization that God's plan is so far beyond me, was intricately designed and is so beautifully and heartbreakingly perfect. And that puts my soul at rest this morning. Because, if God did not spare His own Son from the pains of life (the deepest of which he experienced) in bringing about His glory, peace, joy and hope, then I rejoice that He does not spare us from those pains either.

Jesus came down to this earth knowing that his final destination -- the pinnacle of His journey -- was to be the cross and all of the shame, abuse and mocking that came with it. And He went forward without batting an eye because He knew that His people were worth it. And He knew that from it all -- after the pain and sorrow had come and gone -- would come unending joy. And this morning I rest in that.

This life promises struggles and sufferings, and when I think back to my personal encounters with the cross I remember the hurt and the moments of hopelessness I have experienced. I remember times filled with seemingly unending darkness, and I wouldn't want God to spare me from one moment of that. I rejoice in every struggle because through those times of weakness God was able to prove His strength, to refine my faith and character, and to move me one step further on the perfect path He has set before me. Now, don't get me wrong. When I'm going through those times of loss, they hurt. Bad. So badly that in the moment, I have absolutely cried out to God, asking Him why and how he could do this to me. But, once I finished my journey through those dark tunnels, I was able to marvel in the joy of the light of day all the more.

Jesus' journey was no accident. And Psalm 22 reminds me that each detail of His passion was perfectly orchestrated far before any of them came to be. And, today, I rejoice knowing that our God is a God of details and love. May your Easter weekend be abundantly blessed knowing what was done out of unending love for you.

Wise Words from a Wise Woman

2011-04-12T15:44:00.000-07:00

At some point in college I watched the documentary "Beyond the Gates of Splendor," and amid the hundreds and hundreds of films I watched in my film classes at USC (fight on), I remember this one vividly. If you have not seen it, I would highly recommend that you remedy that as soon as possible. It tells of the incredible story of five missionaries in a remote part of Ecuador in the 1950's. They were killed by the natives of the area, and took the lashings without fighting back, knowing that their own deaths would lead them to the gates of heaven, while their aggressors had not yet heard the good news of Jesus and therefore might not have had such a hope after this life. One of those missionaries was Jim Elliot, and his wife, Elisabeth, is an incredible woman. She returned to Ecuador to minister to the very people who killed her husband a few years earlier, and lived among them for two years. She has experienced suffering and has displayed courage beyond that which I can begin to comprehend, and I feel blessed to be able to glean so much from what the Lord has taught her through her life's experiences.

I was searching for a particular quote of hers for a bible study I led last night, and I came across some profound, some simple, and some profoundly simple things she said that I wanted to share. I am especially blessed by them knowing that her story is one that included times of devastating, earthly pain, suffering and uncertainty.

"I have one desire now -- to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it."

"God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- severe mercies at times, but mercies all the same. God never denies us our heart's desire except to give us something better."

"This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God's way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness."

"Let me be a woman, holy through and through, asking for nothing but what God wants to give me, receiving with both hands and with all my heart whatever that is."

"Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with 'ashes'."

"Our vision is so limited that we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. That was the proof of his love -- that He gave that Son, that He let Him go to Calvary's cross, though 'legions of angels' might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us -- not from anything that it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process."

"Because God wills me joy, I will trust Him with my tragedies."

The grass is always greener...

2011-03-09T16:05:00.000-08:00

I am a little ADD in the way that everyone my age is a little ADD. Thank you Facebook, Tivo, Youtube, and technology in general for making us this way. Because of said ADD I find it painful to sit at a desk for eight consecutive hours staring at a computer screen. Praise the Lord that my job usually has me on the run throughout the day, and some days I don't even see my desk. But yesterday was not one of those days. I had no bible studies, no meetings, no nothing except QT with my desk and computer. By 10:30 I was itching to break free. Don't get me wrong, I L-O-V-E my job, and therefore enjoy the work, but the florescent lighting in my office? I'm not so in love with that, nor the frigid office temp, or the fact that I can't see one window from where I sit. I don't say this to complain. In fact, my cube is pretty luxurious as far as cubes go, and I love my office coworkers. I tell you all of this, really because my ADD is in full effect at the moment and I'm rambling. Anywho... so around 11:00 I made a break for it to Starbucks to caffeinate my mind and rejuvenate my soul. (I haven't even gotten to the reason for this post. Brace yourself, this is shaping up to be the longest post ever).

I was sitting at a table, Soy Misto in one hand and my bible in the other, preparing for this weekend's Confirmation Retreat, when I couldn't help but overhear the conversation going on next to me (I promise you, I never intentionally eavesdrop, but really, Starbucks almost forces you to do so the way they squeeze as many tables in there as they can). The women in the conversation looked to be about my age, maybe a bit older, and they were kind of unloading on each other. One was single, and talking about how dating is so difficult, and she just wants to find the one already. The other was married (and hopefully still is), and had the cutest little peanut baby in tow. Every complaint that her friend made, she fired a counter complaint as to why she missed her singleness. The single one was unsure of her future, was lonely, wished she had the security of being married, and the joys of a family etc., etc. The other woman stated that she missed having a clean house, felt like all she did was laundry, wished at times that she could make decisions without having to consult someone else, etc., etc. Basically, as I listened I began to realize that each was telling the other about the enormous blessings the other has in their life, but they couldn't see the blessings being told to them because they were so concerned about the complaints coming out of their own mouths.

The truth is that no stage or place in life is absolutely perfect. We are flawed individuals living in a flawed world and life's not supposed to be perfect. If it were, where would the thirst for heaven and hunger for something greater be? There will always be things that we can dwell on and complain about. But the other truth is that this world is breathtakingly, knock-you-off-your-feet beautiful if you take a second to scrap your list of cons and look at the pros.

So, I'm going to put my money where my mouth is and start counting my blessings: I am alive (physically and eternally), I am healthy, there are people who love me, there are people I love so much that trying to put it into justifying words makes me tear up, I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back (my travels to third world countries have made me realize what a blessing this is that we take for granted all too often), I live by the beach, I live with amazing women who point me to Christ every day, I have girl friends who I consider sisters -- some of whom have been that way for over a decade, I have a job, I have a job that makes my heart burst, I have a job serving the thing and person I am the most passionate about, my future is unclear -- which means I get to see God surprise me, the creator of the world loves me infinitely and has me in the palm of His hand, I couldn't ask for a more amazing family, the list goes on and on.

So, what I've decided is that the grass is equally green on both sides, the shade of green just depends on how you're looking at it, and it's the greenest when God's growing it beneath your feet.

Must read!

2011-01-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

If you know me well then you probably know that I adore sleep. Eight hours a night is something I prioritize in life as much as possible. But today I sit at my computer sleepy eyed and a little worse for the wear, but so content. You see, I have stayed up night after night this week, long after bedtime, flipping through the pages of Corrie ten Boom's "The Hiding Place" as quicky as possible. I literally could not put it down, and ended up falling asleep in the middle of pages against my will. All I can say is if you have not read it, step away from your computer and get your hands on a copy ASAP. Corrie tells of her family's journey during World War II to protect the defenseless and house those fleeing the Nazis. Their story is one of limitless courage, unwavering faith, and selfless love. The ten Booms prove that the love, protection and provision of God is real and deeper and wider than anything this world can throw at us. READ IT!

Psalm 139:11-12

2011-01-19T14:04:00.000-08:00

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you."

Praise God that, as Betsie ten Boom said, "There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still."

One Solitary Life

2010-12-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

Stumbled across this. Such a great reminder of the greatest gift of all this Christmas season, and always:

Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another village. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty. Then for three years He was an itinerant preacher.
He never owned a home. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never had a family. He never went to college. He never put His foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place He was born. He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but Himself...
While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against him. His friends ran away. One of them denied Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed upon a cross between two thieves. While He was dying His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He had on earth – His coat. When He was dead, He was laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend.
Nineteen long centuries have come and gone, and today He is a centerpiece of the human race and leader of the column of progress.
I am far within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, all the navies that were ever built; all the parliaments that ever sat and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has that one solitary life.

An Open Heart

2010-11-30T15:00:00.000-08:00

Hi friends! I preface what I'm about to say with one request -- please don't judge me... I am currently addicted to watching Oprah's final season. I Tivo every episode, and watch as many as I can in my free time. I mean did you see her Favorite Things episodes? Yes, there were two of them, and they were equally fantastic. There's nothing quite as hilarious as watching people go absolutely bonkers over free brownie pans -- literally, brownie pans. Anywho, I got a glimpse of yesterday's episode with Keith Urban, and he was talking about a moment when he knew he was in love with his wife. He had asked her how her heart was, and her response was, "Open." What a concept in our day and age. To have a heart completely open to whatever comes at it. How freeing, exciting, and petrifying all at the same time. To live with an open heart means that it's exposed for those you love to nurture, cherish, or... yes, to break.

I turned off Oprah after watching only a few minutes, and was on my way to high school bible study. Flash forward to two hours later when I was driving home, my eyes welling up, and I realized I'm the luckiest girl in the world. My job forces me to have an open heart, all the time. And, while my eyes were tearing up because my heart broke for a high school friend, I praised God because the ability to travel to the depths of sadness is only possible if you've reached pinnacles of love and joy. I was sad for a dear friend because I love her so dearly and hated to see her hurting. To feel is to be alive, and my job makes me feel alive, and I think that's somewhat rare in the professional world (if you can call my job professional :P). As someone who guards her heart and emotions pretty securely, I count it as one more blessing that the Lord leaves no room for that in leading ministry.

So here's my challenge, for you and for me -- find those people who make life worth living and come to them with an open heart. Part of loving as Christ calls us to love is allowing others the blessing of loving us in return. Sometimes your heart will break alongside those you love, but I promise it will be worth it.

I'll leave you with a great DL Moody quote I came across not too long ago: "It speaks in Galatians about love, the fruit of the Spirit being love, joy, peace, gentleness, long suffering, meekness and temperance. The way this writer has put it -- and I think it is very beautiful -- is that joy is love exultant, peace is love in repose, and long suffering is love enduring. It is all love, you see, a gentleness is love in society, and goodness is love in action, and faith is love on the battlefield, and meekness is love at school, and temperance is love in training."

KENYA!!!!!!!!

2010-09-07T14:24:00.000-07:00

Wow. I have failed at being a blogger. Summer was packed and flew by, with little free time to update the blog, so I apologize to anyone who stops by every now and then and have found that nothing's changed as of late. The most monumental part of my summer was my two week trip to Kenya, with my family and 13 other members of our church. Words cannot describe how vibrant the country is and how beautiful its people are. I am at a loss for words in trying to convey the memories, sights, sounds, tastes (although these were not quite as beautiful as the other parts of the trip -- I think all 19 of us got sick at some point or another on the trip. I'll spare you the details), and feelings of the trip. One thing I do know without a shadow of a doubt is that God is good. All the time. We spent a week of our trip in a teeny tiny village called Rwika, working at a community program for children who are HIV/AIDS orphans. We put on a VBS for them, but they ended up schooling me on what it means to have faith and love Jesus. I got to hear some of the children's stories throughout the week, and each of them faced so much hardship, sorrow and uncertainty in their lives -- more than I can ever imagine -- but each had an unwaivering, steadfast love for the Lord and faith in His perfect plan. They sang songs of praise, many stomping the red dirt with their bare feet, bare from a lack of shoes, in rhythm with the music. They offered me their beans and rice every day at lunchtime, even though they knew it was the only meal they would get for the day. They poured out their hearts in prayers so genuine and joyful that they brought tears to my eyes. And they loved so purely, honestly and wholeheartedly that I am forever changed by it. They had so much faith and assurance in God because they had seen Him work miracles and continually provide just what they needed to survive. We miss that in the opulence of the US. I've never had to rely on God to provide for my next meal, or to encourage a sponsor to send me to school, or to supply a roof over my head, or to provide a neighbor or distant relative to provide for me. They are just amazingly beautiful people inside and out. I could talk about their beauty forever and a day, if their were words to describe them. Below are some pictures from the trip.

We went on safari our first week in Kenya. Here we are in the wild.

This is David, our safari guide. He is seriously the nicest man I have ever met! And the snazziest dresser with the coolest accent :)

Giraffes -- my favorite

Lions -- in case you couldn't tell

We stopped in a tribal village in the Masai Mara. The men have jumping contests to see who gets the most wives. Chase jumped the highest. Lucky man.

My mom and I got to dance with the women while they sang. SO fun! The woman who stuck their neck out the farthest was the next to get married (or got the most kids? I can't remember which). What can I say? I have an abnormally long neck.

Kelvin, Purity, Anne and another friend in the village of Rwika. Loves of my life.

The waver, as we called him. I light up with joy just looking at pictures of his sweet face.

The whole team in front of our hotel outside of Rwika

My mom with me and her future grandchild (I wish), Gift. Seriously, I was hoping she was a gift for me. She obviously loves having her picture taken with us.

My mom, Anne, Anne, Anne and I. If you forget a girl's name, it's probably Anne :) These three were definitely named Anne :) And I am obsessed with each of them.

Identity

2010-05-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot this week about identity. I've come to the realization that who or what you identify yourself with has a huge impact on every aspect of your life. The things I have identified myself with throughout my life have changed as I've grown, and my outlook and feelings have morphed drastically given those changes. When I was a child I identified and aligned myself most with my family, and because of that I felt safe and lived a simple, mostly worry-free life, minus the head-to-heads I'd have with my brother (usually over the fact that he wouldn't let me play legos or hockey with him -- not that I'm bitter or anything) because my family was loving and stable. In 5th grade I changed schools and identified myself as an outsider. I had no friends at first and was surrounded by people who had tons of close friends. Because of these feelings of alienation I strove to befriend whoever I could, however I could. I would say what I thought people wanted to hear and spread myself thin, and those two things worked together to hurt me. By the middle of 6th grade I was back to having no friends, and was surrounded by people who didn't like me at all because of things I'd said and lies I told that hurt them. In high school I identified myself with my friends, whom I must preface by saying that I loved and continue to love dearly. But I felt the pressure of being in a somewhat "popular" and fast-moving crowd, and that pressure combined with my self-consciousness at the time turned into an unhealthy thing. I went against what I felt was right and did things I thought would keep me in that crowd and would uphold that identity.

And then I went to college and began to identify myself first and foremost as a Christian, and everything changed. I began seeing myself as a beloved and perfectly made child of God first and foremost, one that God gave everything for. Knowing that and putting that in the front of my mind every day completely changed who I was, how I saw things, what I prioritized and what I was motivated to do. I was free from the unhealthy identities I once had, and was now free to live a life of love, joy and health. Each day I learn more and more about that identity. I don't feel tempted to do what I used to be tempted to do because I know that those things won't lead me to joy and fulfillment, and they plainly just aren't attractive to me. When I wasn't in a dating relationship, I didn't feel the desperate need for that because I knew that God's love was enough and that His timing is always perfect. I'm able to love more fully and give grace more abundantly than before because I'm aware of the grace and love bestowed upon me with every breath of air that fills my lungs. I'm not saying that life is perfect, or that I am perfect by any means now that my identity is in Christ (far from it!), but I'm saying that in all circumstances there is a reason for me to have hope and joy in something so much greater than anything this world can throw at me. And that is more freeing than anything I've experienced before.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

Paradise

2010-03-31T14:43:00.000-07:00

If Hawaii is just a taste of the beauty in heaven, then I'm beyond excited. I just got back from a fun-filled, amazing week in Maui with my parents, younger brothers, grandmothers, boyfriend, and family friend, and it was incredible! God's creation constantly leaves me in awe, and I feel so blessed to have the people in my life that I do. Here are some pics. Try to quell your jealousy :)

The whole group

My parent's anniversary dinner -- 29 years! Woohoo!!

Ziplining -- sooo fun!

My brothers and their friend, Patrick, posing with hula dancers after the luau

My dad getting ready to tee off

Our last dinner in Maui :(

Confirmation Retreat

2010-03-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

So, I am extra sleepy this week. The time change and the confirmation retreat were a deadly combination. No worries though, because the retreat was amazing and God blessed me through it in so many ways. I get to work with the coolest junior high and high schoolers on the planet. I learn so much from them it's ridiculous. I saw Jesus through each of them in so many ways this weekend. Our theme was "The Body of Christ" and it was so neat to see them come together as one body. By Saturday night I felt as though all the cliques that came up in the bus on retreat had diminished and become one big clique. Everyone loved each other -- genuinely and sincerely. It was so cool to see them apologizing for wrongs they had done and for things they had left undone, and to see them all laughing and crying together. The Body of Christ is such a neat thing and I am feeling especially blessed to be apart of that body today.

Two Months?!?!

2010-02-16T16:58:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in two months?! What's wrong with me? While I'm not sure if many people--if any--read my ramblings, if you do, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. So what I've been realizing over the past couple months is how much I like to play God. I'm a little bit of a control freak. And, while I'm working on it, I'm someone who finds the idea of the sufficiency (is that a word?) of God's grace a little hard to grasp. I want there to be some way I can earn heaven, if even just a little bit. If I'm being completely honest (gulp), I want to be able to get up to heaven one day and show God all my bells and whistles, all the good deeds I've done in His name and out of love for Him. I want to be able to show Him that I'm not like those who strayed away from Him and into the arms of deception, greed and the service of self. I want to be able to earn awards for each good deed I do, so that one day I can show them off to God. Gross, I know. And then I stumbled upon Luke 18, The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector:

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Eek. I am the Pharisee and I so desperately want to be the tax collector. The tax collector was so convinced of God's power and holiness, and of his own powerlessness and filthiness, that he could do nothing but lay prostrate at the feet of his Savior begging for mercy and love. Isaiah 64 says that even our righteous deeds are like filthy rags -- or more accurately and distastefully, like rags women use during that time of the month -- before God. All that can save us is the mercy and love poured out for us at Calvary. And the Pharisee didn't get that, and that's what scares me. He thought that with all his good deeds he was closer than most to heaven and salvation, and this thinking was the very thing that made him so far away from the very things he thought he was reaching.

May God our Father bestow His grace upon you to expose your sin and His Holiness so that you can do nothing but lay at His feet, relying on His power alone.

'Tis the Season

2009-12-15T12:29:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas! I can't believe that in ten days we will be celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior on this earth. It feels like yesterday we were ringing in the new year. I have had so much fun celebrating Christmas with the junior highers and high schoolers. We've gone bowling, had silly white elephant gift exchanges, gingerbread house competitions and deep discussions on the events leading up to Jesus' birth. One thing I've realized through this all is that we serve an unfathomable God. Each time I start to think I have God figured out he throws me a curve ball. He did that last week when we were talking about Mary's pregnancy. We are talking about the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings. He could have chosen any way he wanted to make his entrance onto this earth... and he chose to come by way of an unwed, poor teenager and a lowly, dirty manger. If that isn't humility then I don't know what is. Just meditating on those two facts put me in awe realizing another characteristic and decision of the God we serve. May He fill you with him peace, joy, love and gentleness this Christmas season as you celebrate and are surrounded by those you love most!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

2009-11-24T16:13:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving friends! I hope you have an enormously blessed day and that you thoroughly enjoy your food coma... I know I will! If you're having trouble finding things to be thankful for, check out www.miniature-earth.com. And know that our God loves you and is faithful and will use all things for the good of those who love Him. Have a great holiday and a great long weekend!

John 11

2009-11-03T10:21:00.000-08:00

One of the scriptures in church this week was from John 11, when Jesus' friend Lazarus dies. As I was up front reading the scripture to the congregation, the Lord began to make parts of it stick out that I had never really meditated on before. I usually like to get to the part where it says that Jesus wept, because I hold this fact very dear and near to my heart. In my haste to get there I never really meditated on the circumstance of it all. The scripture clearly states that Jesus dearly loved Martha, Mary and their brother Lazarus. So what does He do when he hears Lazarus is sick? Does he rush to his side to heal him? No. He waits. He does nothing for two whole days. I can just imagine what my response would have been if I were Mary and Martha. "You love me and my brother, and he is sick, and you're not going to come and heal him? Are you for real?" I, in my miniscule self-centered thinking would be so hurt. Which brings up another point I have a habit of forgetting. It isn't all about me. Jesus states that Lazarus' sickness, which must have brought on heartache, worry and sleepless nights for Martha and Mary, was for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it. In the end waiting those two days allowed God to show His glory through His son, and that could only happen if Mary and Martha went through the heartache they did, which He knew they could endure.

God's ways are not our ways, that's for sure. And looking at the outcome of John 11 I'm very thankful they aren't.

JOY in suffering... say what?

2009-10-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

So this week I've been dwelling on what true joy is. Growing up I always thought joy and happiness were one in the same. In singing "Joy to the World" at Christmas time (which is less than two months away -- woohoo!) I was always singing about the happiness that comes with Christmas, and nothing more. But turning to scripture and meditating on what it says makes me realize that joy is something far beyond happiness. Romans 5:3 tells us that we "rejoice in our sufferings." When I look back on hard times, times when I lost loved ones or was struggling in school or in a relationship, I was not happy. It's not a natural instinct to be filled with happiness when our world in crumbling around us. 1 Peter 4:13 states that Peter and others rejoiced in knowing that others were suffering for Christ. I can't imagine that wives sit by, overflowing with happiness, as their husbands are imprisoned for professing their faith in Christ, or that the disciples' friends watched with glee as they were crucified for believing in Jesus. But I do believe they were filled with joy. You see, I don't think joy and happiness are correlated any more than sadness and anger are correlated. Often the two emotions come hand in hand, but not always. I think that true joy is something only believers in the true, living God can have. It's the knowledge that He's bigger and more powerful than death, sin and the Devil. And it's the knowledge that He's infinitely good and stays true to His word to use all things for the good of those who love Him. It's the knowledge that, while a loved one may be overcome by cancer, Jesus has overcome the death sentence that comes with that cancer and has the final say with eternal life and healing. It's the knowledge that you must die in order to live, and so, after the world throws everything it can at you, you can stand, and stand firm on the foundation of Christ. It's the ability to let go and say, "Not my will, but Thy will be done," knowing that everything happens for a perfect purpose, even if it doesn't make sense to our peabrain minds. Joy is letting the all-knowing, all-powerful, Agape-loving God have His way in our lives so that He may have all the glory, all the honor and all the power.

Proverbs 30

2009-09-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

I just stumbled across some scripture that convicted me to the core. In Proverbs 30:7-9, the writer says to the Lord, "Two things I ask of you, O Lord, do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God." The writer essentially asks the Lord for nothing more than truth and enough wealth and material goods to get by for the day. That is such a foreign concept to me. Society embeds within us that we are to save, save, save for retirement, for the unknown and for the curves life might throw at us. We are told we should save for a rainy day and because one day we might be in a tight spot and need help. But the scripture is right on the money (sorry for the pun -- I couldn't help myself). I find comfort in that cushion in my savings account and I worship it and rely on it instead of God to an extent. I easily forget that He is my provider and protector above and beyond Wells Fargo or my employer. I'm not saying it's completely foolish to save for your future to some extent, but I think that we as Americans hoard our money and let it possess us way too much. What about those who are in a tight spot now and need us to be stewards of the money the Lord has blessed us with and entrusted to us? Maybe He wants to provide them with their daily bread through us and we're so worried about tomorrow (which is not guaranteed to any) and our possible needs then that we completely overlook the needs of others today. Is our future more valuable than their present? Surely not in God's opinion. I too easily forget that my money is not my money at all. It's His and I'm simply His vessel and middle man. If only I could live more like that. What a bold prayer to pray Proverbs 30:7-9 and what beauty to start living it out! I pray and hope that your day is saturated in the joy, goodness and hope of our God!

Craziness...

2009-09-10T09:05:00.001-07:00

http://www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php

Beautiful Music

2009-08-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

My mom came across an interesting story last night that I wanted to share. It's about a musician named Joshua Bell who is one of the top violinists in the world (see http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html?referrer=digg to see article). On January 9, 2007 Joshua sold out a performance at Boston's Symphony Hall, where tickets were $100 each, and three days later he decided to perform an experiment. Joshua headed down to the DC subway at rush hour to play a 45 minute set, which included one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with his violin valued at 3.5 million dollars. During that 45 minutes it is estimated that nearly 1,100 people passed by Joshua. 27 of those 1,100 people dropped money into Joshua's bucket, which totalled $32.17. Most dropped in the money without so much as looking at Joshua, let alone stopping to hear him play. Several children, most notably a 3 year old boy, stopped to listen to Joshua, but all were hurried along by their parents.
Joshua's experiment was one of perceptions and taste. He wanted to find out if we perceive beauty and truly appreciate it, and if we recognize talent in an unexpected context. On the whole, the answer he got back across the board was "no."
The article got me thinking about man's relationship with God, which sadly has so many parallels to Joshua's story. Everyday you, I and the rest of the world encounter the most gifted artist the world has ever known. His works are all around us on display, and we pass them by. Some of us give a miniscule piece of the wealth we have at our fingertips for his cause and time, but usually it's without really saturating ourselves in his work or taking a moment away from us to focus on him. He's playing all around us, begging us to listen and find joy in his music, and we turn a blind eye and deaf ear. Isn't it funny that the 3 year old boy was the one who recognized talent and beauty and appreciated it. I've found that that's the way it usually is in life, out of the mouths of babes come such amazingly truthful and beautiful insights about God and his kingdom.

And Jesus said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3-4

May you and I both stop and marvel at the music being composed around us and for us today and always. Blessings!

Something More...

2009-07-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

Hi guys,

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I've been away at camp after camp after camp after camp. Literally 4 camps, and then I got home to be bed-ridden with the flu for a week. I guess that's what I get for burning the candle at both ends with some of the coolest kids I know. Each camp was so different and uniquely amazing. I feel like God is showing me so much. What is He showing me? That there's gotta be something more than what we, as the American church, are experiencing. Jesus was radical. And his message was equally as radical. And the fruit of that radical message is a radically lived life. Jesus said that those who wish to keep their lives will lose them and those who give their lives for his sake and to his cause will save them. Looking at my life I've realized that there are little (or maybe large) pieces of my life where I say, "You know what Lord, I think I'll keep that one." And my life reflects that desire to hold onto those things. Our purpose on this earth is to glorify God. Period. End of sentence. Am I glorifying God, laying down my life and serving Him with every breath that I take? Definitely not. The truth is that I'm comfortable where I'm at, and that's not a good thing. We need to be breaking out of our comfortable bubbles for the gospel, whether that mean to go to Africa and serve AIDS orphans, to go to downtown LA and feed the homeless or to go to your best friend's house to share the love and message of Jesus with them. The Lord, His word and the souls of men and women are the only things that matter. They are all that will enter into eternity with us, and to put anything (Our pride, comfort, TV, movies, etc.) before those three things is to not live a fully surrendered life. To give much, live passionately, love selflessly and serve unceasingly is to be Jesus' hands and feet on this earth. And the only way we can be and do those things is to make our relationship with our Maker THE top priority above all else. I want to have a hunger for the Word that can't be fully filled and I want to be so connected to my Lord that every prayer from my tongue is His exact same prayer. I'm sorry for the word vomit that is all over your computer screen, but I'm just done being lukewarm. I want to live life for all that it's worth and meant to be, and I hope you'll join in on the journey. The Lord, His Word and the souls of men and women. That's what I'm living for.

A fresh perspective

2009-06-03T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! I hope your life is so full and rich and blessed! Summer is right around the corner -- woohoo! I am so excited to be a professional camp counselor, going to four different camps for four weeks in a row. I love camps and all that they have to offer in terms of growth, friendships and new life experiences. It should be a fun month!

I feel like God has been so kind in showing me so much in the past month. It's been pretty simple stuff, but it's sunk in in a whole new way lately. Mainly, God has been showing and teaching me that perspective is the difference between sorrow and joy in so much of life -- hence the picture to the left -- do you see an old lady or a young girl? (I see the girl). The way that we look at the cards that we're dealt and the things that happen in our lives determines how we respond to them and the outlook that we have in life. A person can always feel like they aren't wealthy enough, happy enough, loved enough, pretty enough, etc. and those feelings only lead to feelings of inadequacy and sadness, and they only lead us away from God and the fullness and richness He wants to bring to our lives. EVERYTHING in life is a blessing. EVERYTHING. We are entitled to nothing in this life beyone the wages of our sin, which is death. Yet God pours out so many blessings to us everyday just because He's crazy about us. And the even cooler thing is that God even uses the junk and the sorrow we experience in lives for our good and turns those things into blessings. When I look back on the hardest, darkest times in my life I am so thankful because I see God's hand so much more visibly than in the happy, carefree times of my life. The hard times were times when I was stripped of the things I turn to daily instead of God, and it was during these times that I had no choice but to grip onto Him, to dive into Him and to grow into a better picture of Him. Romans 5 tells us we can "rejoice in our sufferings." Think about what it means to rejoice. It means to throw your arms up in the air and praise God! It means to be overfilled with joy! Pretty crazy that we serve a God who can take the worst of the worst that we experience and turn it into blessings we can rejoice over.

But we can only rejoice over these things if we look at them as blessings. We must see past the hurt and see the refinement; past the death and see the new life; past the loss and see what is gained. We can only do that if we have a Godly perspective, one that is focused on the Word and flows naturally from it.

Living a life drenched in God means living a life focused on what He does give us rather than what He doesn't. Don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend? I bet you have amazing friends who love you like crazy and who God loves you like crazy through. Don't have the wardrobe you want? I bet you are fully clothed everyday. Wish your house was bigger? I'm betting you have a roof over your head. Wish you had the top of the line Macbook? If you are reading this right now it means that you have access to a computer -- a benefit 80% of the people in this world don't have.

Need a little more perspective? Click here: http://www.miniature-earth.com/me_english.htm

Hope your life is drenched in His unfailing, unceasing Love! It's all that's worth living for :)

What?!?!

2009-05-12T12:53:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I haven't blogged since March! Sooo sorry about that. I hope you had an awesome April and are having a marvelous May :) I know I am. I'm super busy (if you couldn't tell by the months between blog posts) between birthdays, work, church, Confirmation and weddings (yay!), but busy is good. I hope all of you mothers had a fabulous Mother's Day and that your kiddos spoiled you like crazy! My brother came up with the best Mother's Day gift, and I'm kind of proud of how it turned out :) My mom's favorite child these days is her one year old black Lab, Jagger, and so I had my best friend and AMAZING professional photographer Katelin (katelinwallace.blogspot.com) come over and shoot the little rascal. My brother also shot a few more humorous pictures, and we framed a couple and put the rest in a photo book. My mom loved it! Homemade gifts really are the best :) Hopefully I'll be able to put up some pictures soon. He really is too cute.

Job...

2009-03-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

...as in the book of Job, not a j-o-b. It was one of those uncoincidental coincidences that the topic of the St. John's high school study and my own small group study this week were both the book of Job. I know it sounds so weird, but I am comforted by the book of Job. Yes, God gives Satan free reign to do with Job and his family as Satan so chooses, short of killing him. Yes, Job loses everything dear to him on this earth and is plagued with horrible things. But he never loses faith. Job comforts me because he wrestles with God. He questions him, gets angry with him, but he never loses faith. I don't know if you've ever read Job 19 before, but I highly suggest doing it. The hardships I have been through pale in comparison to what Job experienced. And if, after it all, he can still say that he knows his Redeemer lives (before Jesus walked the earth, mind you), then why can't I? A friend of mine was beautifully honest in discussing Job with me and said he didn't understand the book and Job's circumstance makes him question God's love, goodness and justice. How could God just so readily hand Job over to Satan like that when Job was blameless and faithful? How could God watch Job go through what he did and not step in? These are serious, legitimate questions to wrestle with when reading through Job. Then the questions popped into my head: How could God the father so readily hand Jesus over? How could God the father watch Jesus go through what he did on the cross and not step in? I think we as humans are naturally born with these enormous blinders on. We can only see what's in our reality. God's scope and view is infinitely bigger than our own, and God is therefore infinitely wiser. He knew what he put Jesus through was so worth the outcome, and he knew that Job's temporal sorrows were meaningless in the scope of eternity. And, after all is said and done, God gives Job double what he had before. The fact of the matter is that we all deserve the worst of what Job experienced, and nothing more. We are sinners who deserve death, but God freely gives us so much more. I think entitlement is one of Satan's greatest tools. I'm entitled to nothing, but God has given me everything through his son. Eternity is all that matters. Like Job says, "after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eys." What an awesome day that will be!

Retreat!

2009-03-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

What an amazing weekend! I headed up to Forest Home Ojai Valley with 88 Eighth graders and 12 other leaders on Friday for Confirmation retreat. The weekend was incredible to say the least. Why was it incredible? Because God showed up. The Holy Spirit was palpable throughout the retreat and I was amazed as I watched lives be transformed and restored by his power and love. I feel like there were points in the weekend where I got that rare glimpse of what Christian fellowship was intended to look like. We were one body, relying on each other, loving on each other and being real with each other. It was so beautiful.

Jesus is it. He's everything we need. We are blessed not because of people or things, but because One person gave us His everything. At one point in the weekend we all nailed our sins to the cross and as each person came up I just saw Jesus looking so lovingly at them saying "I'll take that one. And that one too. Whatever it takes to be with you." We deserve nothing good in this world. Nothing. But Jesus, the one perfect person who ever deserved good took on all of our filth and went through the worst of this world to give us everything.

My 40 days of the gospel are still rocking my world. I read Luke 4 this morning and was humbled by the way Jesus was able to combat every temptation with the Word of God. I was also appalled almost to the point of laughter by what a blatant liar Satan is. Early in the chapter he tries to tell Jesus that he has the authority to give everything to Jesus if Jesus will only worship him, and then a few verses later his minions, the evil spirits, are proclaiming that Jesus is the Holy One of God and fall down to the ground.

More pictures of retreat to come soon. Not too many though. Nicolle Miller only took about 700 :) Blessings!

A Lenten Challenge

2009-02-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

I am passing on a challenge to you that I received from a good friend of mine. The challenge is simple, and from the two days I've been meeting this challenge, I can already tell you it's going to be life changing. The challenge is to simply read through the books of Mark and Luke by the end of the Lent season. There are 40 chapters altogether, which works out perfectly to read one chapter a day. The goal through this challenge is simple: to get to know Jesus more and to fall deeper in love with him. The cool thing about only reading a chapter a day isn't that you can do it in under five minutes. That's not it at all. The cool thing is that I get to really marinate on each verse, on each word and soak in Jesus' teachings, ministry and life. I'm only through Mark 2 and am already in awe and so refreshed. It isn't to late to start the challenge!

Two things really hit home for me in Mark 2 that I want to share with you. The first is the sweetness of the words "Follow me." In verse 14 Jesus sees Levi (also known as Matthew), a tax collector, at his place of work (which was despised by the rest of society) and simply says those two words. But there is so much deeper meaning behind what Jesus says. Follow me. Enter my kingdom, my truth. Lose your life to gain mine. Experience my agape love. Pick up your cross as I venture to pick up mine. Join in on the adventure. Experience the freedom. Taste what it means to truly live. Let me be Lord of your life.

The other portion of the chapter that really impacted me was when Jesus said "it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinners." Why do we all always try to act like we have it all together? Jesus came to love the broken, the destitute, those who freely admit that we really need a Saviour. The truth is that without Jesus and His grace to set us free we are all equal sinners, digging our way to Death. Without Him we are nothing. We are all the sick, and I too often try to pretend like that's not me. In fact, not admitting to my sickness makes me delusional, and all the more sick. Funny how that works.

Anyway, I have been beyond blessed by the past two days and strongly encourage you to join me in my journey to the heart of Jesus. I'll check back in with updates on what God is teaching me through his sweet Word. Blessings! ~H

Broomball!!!

2009-02-17T12:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got together with some of my favorite people in the world to celebrate President's Day with a nice game of Broomball, which was so fun! And so painful! I took a couple of spills on the ice and woke up this morning to find a few beautiful black and blue knots on my shins. It was so much fun, and so worth the pain! My team may not have come out on top, but we sure did have a great time.

I hope that you had a wonderful Valentine's Day and that the love of Jesus was so present in your day! Praise God that we always have His PERFECT love to celebrate and to get us through.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-13T11:49:00.000-08:00

Yes, yes, I know. I'm two weeks late. Apologies. But, well, it's been a crazy time around St. John's (which I'm starting to think is a theme around this church... and probably most churches come to think of it). God is doing awesome things around here, and His hand in everything is so evident. I feel like everyday He's showing me another prayer He's answered. Moral of the story: be careful what you wish (or pray) for. Not that I'm regretting any prayer, but I'm realizing more and more that they are more powerful than we know and God is more faithful than we could fathom. 2nd moral of the story: watch your words. God is always listening. Last Wednesday someone asked me how I was doing, and I flippantly (and jokingly) responded that I was doing great, because I knew things couldn't get worse so there was nowhere to go but up. God had a little reminder for me the next morning that things can always get worse. My car, sadly, got its face torn off by another car on my way to work Thursday morning. I was fine, as was the driver of the other car (it was seriously the smoothest crash I've ever been in), but my poor little car is in the shop and not doing so well. I think it was just God's reminder that things can always get worse, so I should count all circumstances of life as a blessing.

Anyway, keep praying and remember: God is always listening :) Blessings!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-23T10:27:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe Christmas is only two days away! It feels like only yesterday we were ringing in 2008. I've been really studying and meditating on the nativity story over the past few weeks and here is the conclusion I've come to: God is gnarly. And so awesome. His timing was so perfect in coming down and being born on this earth. He came down under the names "King of the Jews" and the "Anointed One" at a time when two others thought they were the King of the Jews (King Herod) and the Anointed One (Caesar Augustus). Not a coincidence. He was born to a teenage girl and her newly wedded husband. In a manger. The Lord and Savior of this world was born in the feeding trough of a stable surrounded by farm animals. And God could have sent angels to alert kings, rulers and dignitaries that Jesus was born, but He sent them to shepherds instaed. To poor, nomadic men who spent most of their lives alone. Why? Because God's ways are definitely not man's ways. They are so much better. I too often view the birth of Jesus as this safe, warm event. And while it was joyful and good, safe is something that it was not. Yes, it was safe because God was in control, but can you imagine being Mary and Joseph? I bet they weren't thinking it was safe when they had to make the trek to Bethlehem, and when they found out Herod was out for blood. God is so awesome and Jesus' story and history are so much bigger than I give them credit. I hope you have an amazingly blessed Christmas in which the Lord is able to reveal a new piece of the puzzle of Jesus' birth and life that you hadn't seen before! Blessings!

Everything's Coming Up Roses

2008-12-09T12:25:00.001-08:00

How about those Trojans? Rose Bowl here we come! Fight on :)

Yay!!!

2008-11-25T11:01:00.000-08:00

Fall is finally here! Bring on the rain! I cannot tell you how much I love rainy days. There's no better excuse to be lazy, grab a good book and a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and sit next to a fire all day. My friends joke that I was born in the wrong state because I loooove cold weather, coats, scarves and boots. There's just something about the crispness in the air and the holiday cheer that goes along with the fall and winter seasons. Happy Thanksgiving!

God is Good

2008-11-17T15:58:00.000-08:00

Odds are that the rougher my week is, the more I'm learning from the Lord. This week's lesson was a much needed reminder that God is always good. I was reminded this week that God is good not because He takes away suffering, but because He enters into it. I've seen it time and again in my life as God has used sorrow and trials to really reach out to me and remind me that He loves me and wants to comfort me more than anyone on this earth ever could. It has been in those times when I've physically felt God's presence the most. He is just so good because he brings joy and hope out of sorrow and despair. As Thanksgiving approaches I am reminded that regardless of our circumstance in life, there is always something to thank God for. And today I am thanking Him for that.

I've been ruined...

2008-11-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

...by a good book. I am a self-professed dork who has always loved to read. A little over a year ago I fell in love with the novel Evidence of Things Unseen by Mariann Wiggins, an old professor of mine. It is a beautifully written and epic love story, and no book that I've cracked since has compared. I've probably tried to read over fifteen books since that time, all of which I've gotten bored with and abandoned. I'm desperate for a good read, so if you have any suggestions please send them over :)

Living Between the Trees

2008-10-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

I'm hanging out at my desk right now watching a Nooma video called "Trees." (Nooma is a ministry consisting of short films that was started by a pastor named Rob Bell a few years back. The videos are amazingly artistic, deeply moving and just all around cool, so check them out if you're not familiar with them. You won't regret it.). Anyway, "Trees" is all about how we live in a fallen time between the Garden of Eden (tree #1) and what's to come when Jesus comes back (tree #2), and how we can take part in planting trees of Paradise around the earth while we're here. The video covers so much about our world and what it means to truly live,. One part that really struck me was when Rob talked about the beauty that God so lovingly created and that he allows to exist in our fallen world -- laughter, music, nature, the list goes on and on and on. This reminded me of a quote I have been obsessed with lately (keep up with this blog and I'm sure you'll find that every week there seems to be a new quote that's my favorite). Frank Lloyd Wright once said that "the longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. If you foolishly ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it. Your life will be impoverished. But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life." I'm not sure if Wright was a Christian, but I cannot help but think of how this quote speaks to Jesus and the beauty He brings. We live in a crazy world, but amid and even within the chaos, pain and destruction there is so much beauty that we miss because we're so consumed with all of the craziness. The longer we live, the more time we have to seek God and see the beauty he has blessed us with. So today I am looking beyond the craziness of the election, the economy and everything else in order to appreciate the little things in life, which are often the most beautiful.

Hello Blogland!

2008-10-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

I'm a first time blogger so you'll have to bare with me. My journey with the youth team at St. John's began on Monday morning, and the past two days have been a whirlwind packed with bible studies, an incredible trip to Good Shepherd, Coffee Talk, devotions, and so much more. I am in awe as I look around realizing that my job is to hang out with amazing people talking about eternity and pointing each other to Jesus and His Word. I feel beyond blessed. So, as a way to say hello, I figured I should give a few facts about myself. While I am in no way an artist, I love admiring other people's art, whether it be in film, books, music, etc. I love it all. I majored in Creative Writing and minored in Film while at USC (fight on!), so while my friends were studying calculus and writing 20 page papers on quantitative theory (whatever that is), I was creating stories and watching movies. It was a college experience that I wouldn't trade in a million years. Ask my dad for a funny story about me and he will, without fail, tell you about when, as a child, I pinned my older, larger brother off of his feet and up against a wall because he called me a funny name. I have grown up with three brothers and two male cousins on my dad's side, so I know how to hold my own with the boys. I love to travel and some of my favorite memories are from my summers spent in Nicaragua and Spain on missions trips. I love fall, Christmas, crisp weather, snowboarding, playing board games, and those conversations where you walk away in awe of the heart and depth of the person with whom you were speaking. I could go on and on about my likes and passions, but I think I've bored you enough for the day. Blessings!