I just love when God speaks so clearly. Today I realized I've been in a season of self-reliance. Looking back I see how I've tried to do everything by my own strength... not out of pride or a desire to be in control (for the most part), but mostly because it's how I best know to operate, and when things get crazy, it's my posture in autopilot. We live in a society that promotes self-reliance and being your own boss, and I so easily fall into the traps life, and the enemy, set before me in that regard. And let me tell you, it gets to be exhausting. And draining.
It's so cool when messages, conversations, prayers and scripture from different corners of life all line up to softly scream one unified message, and that's what's happened to me this week. The message? Chill out, and let Me be God. A woman in my prayer group spoke on the fact that God is the pace-setter of our lives, and our job is to follow. All too often I feel like I’m falling behind and have to sprint to catch up, but in reality I can't and shouldn't go any faster than God leads. The truth is I don't need to sprint to catch up if I am faithfully walking as and how He commands, at the speed He commands, which usually seems to be slower than I'd like (I'm not the best with patience). What I’m really sprinting to catch up to is my own agenda shrouded in religion and/or the world’s way of thinking.
Last week I led a study with the junior highers on patience, and my fervent prayer as of late (completely unrelated to that study) has been that I would walk in step with the Lord. In that prayer I haven't found rest, but stress. Stress because I feel like I need to be so careful in placing my foot in the exact, precise location where God deems it be placed. Stress because I'm not giving Him my feet to place where He pleases, if that makes sense. Phil Wickham's "Sun and Moon" came on the radio this morning, and meditating on the lyrics I was reminded of my responsibility to be the moon -- a mere surface, resting in the sun's presence and thereby reflecting its light. Just like the moon lets the sun do all the work, I need to let go and let God.
My time with the Lord today led me to Isaiah 30, which brought all of the above together: "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." Reflecting on my week, my posture has been anything but restful, quiet and trusting to the core. I'm like the Israelites God speaks to through Isaiah. I have my own plans, and try to fight on my own, even with the best of intentions, and in doing so I run from the Lord, rather than waiting on and relying on Him. I so want to be a woman flooded with unending faith, who peacefully trusts in and waits on the Lord, knowing that He desires peace, joy, love, contentment and freedom for me.
Isaiah 30 talks about a time of blessing and prosperity for the Israelites as soon as they wait on the Lord. It's a time when the adversity and affliction that come from their decisions will be traded in for that still small voice saying, "This is the way, walk in it," which leads them step by step to His glory and their good. Scripture states that at that time the "light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold, in the day when the Lord binds up the brokenness." God's light will more fully shine in and through them because their own broken, cloudy agendas and actions will be bound, and God's glory will be able to shine all the more. I love that picture of brokenness being bound -- it's there, but it has no power. It is at God's mercy. May you and I sit at the feet of Jesus today, allowing Him to bind our brokenness and place our feet where He wills. What freedom there is in relying on and trusting in Him!
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