One Solitary Life

Stumbled across this. Such a great reminder of the greatest gift of all this Christmas season, and always:

Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman. He grew up in another village. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty. Then for three years He was an itinerant preacher.
He never owned a home. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never had a family. He never went to college. He never put His foot inside a big city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place He was born. He never did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but Himself...
While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against him. His friends ran away. One of them denied Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed upon a cross between two thieves. While He was dying His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He had on earth – His coat. When He was dead, He was laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend.
Nineteen long centuries have come and gone, and today He is a centerpiece of the human race and leader of the column of progress.
I am far within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, all the navies that were ever built; all the parliaments that ever sat and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has that one solitary life.

An Open Heart

Hi friends! I preface what I'm about to say with one request -- please don't judge me... I am currently addicted to watching Oprah's final season. I Tivo every episode, and watch as many as I can in my free time. I mean did you see her Favorite Things episodes? Yes, there were two of them, and they were equally fantastic. There's nothing quite as hilarious as watching people go absolutely bonkers over free brownie pans -- literally, brownie pans. Anywho, I got a glimpse of yesterday's episode with Keith Urban, and he was talking about a moment when he knew he was in love with his wife. He had asked her how her heart was, and her response was, "Open." What a concept in our day and age. To have a heart completely open to whatever comes at it. How freeing, exciting, and petrifying all at the same time. To live with an open heart means that it's exposed for those you love to nurture, cherish, or... yes, to break.

I turned off Oprah after watching only a few minutes, and was on my way to high school bible study. Flash forward to two hours later when I was driving home, my eyes welling up, and I realized I'm the luckiest girl in the world. My job forces me to have an open heart, all the time. And, while my eyes were tearing up because my heart broke for a high school friend, I praised God because the ability to travel to the depths of sadness is only possible if you've reached pinnacles of love and joy. I was sad for a dear friend because I love her so dearly and hated to see her hurting. To feel is to be alive, and my job makes me feel alive, and I think that's somewhat rare in the professional world (if you can call my job professional :P). As someone who guards her heart and emotions pretty securely, I count it as one more blessing that the Lord leaves no room for that in leading ministry.

So here's my challenge, for you and for me -- find those people who make life worth living and come to them with an open heart. Part of loving as Christ calls us to love is allowing others the blessing of loving us in return. Sometimes your heart will break alongside those you love, but I promise it will be worth it.

I'll leave you with a great DL Moody quote I came across not too long ago: "It speaks in Galatians about love, the fruit of the Spirit being love, joy, peace, gentleness, long suffering, meekness and temperance. The way this writer has put it -- and I think it is very beautiful -- is that joy is love exultant, peace is love in repose, and long suffering is love enduring. It is all love, you see, a gentleness is love in society, and goodness is love in action, and faith is love on the battlefield, and meekness is love at school, and temperance is love in training."

KENYA!!!!!!!!

Wow. I have failed at being a blogger. Summer was packed and flew by, with little free time to update the blog, so I apologize to anyone who stops by every now and then and have found that nothing's changed as of late. The most monumental part of my summer was my two week trip to Kenya, with my family and 13 other members of our church. Words cannot describe how vibrant the country is and how beautiful its people are. I am at a loss for words in trying to convey the memories, sights, sounds, tastes (although these were not quite as beautiful as the other parts of the trip -- I think all 19 of us got sick at some point or another on the trip. I'll spare you the details), and feelings of the trip. One thing I do know without a shadow of a doubt is that God is good. All the time. We spent a week of our trip in a teeny tiny village called Rwika, working at a community program for children who are HIV/AIDS orphans. We put on a VBS for them, but they ended up schooling me on what it means to have faith and love Jesus. I got to hear some of the children's stories throughout the week, and each of them faced so much hardship, sorrow and uncertainty in their lives -- more than I can ever imagine -- but each had an unwaivering, steadfast love for the Lord and faith in His perfect plan. They sang songs of praise, many stomping the red dirt with their bare feet, bare from a lack of shoes, in rhythm with the music. They offered me their beans and rice every day at lunchtime, even though they knew it was the only meal they would get for the day. They poured out their hearts in prayers so genuine and joyful that they brought tears to my eyes. And they loved so purely, honestly and wholeheartedly that I am forever changed by it. They had so much faith and assurance in God because they had seen Him work miracles and continually provide just what they needed to survive. We miss that in the opulence of the US. I've never had to rely on God to provide for my next meal, or to encourage a sponsor to send me to school, or to supply a roof over my head, or to provide a neighbor or distant relative to provide for me. They are just amazingly beautiful people inside and out. I could talk about their beauty forever and a day, if their were words to describe them. Below are some pictures from the trip.





We went on safari our first week in Kenya. Here we are in the wild.



This is David, our safari guide. He is seriously the nicest man I have ever met! And the snazziest dresser with the coolest accent :)



Giraffes -- my favorite

Lions -- in case you couldn't tell

We stopped in a tribal village in the Masai Mara. The men have jumping contests to see who gets the most wives. Chase jumped the highest. Lucky man.



My mom and I got to dance with the women while they sang. SO fun! The woman who stuck their neck out the farthest was the next to get married (or got the most kids? I can't remember which). What can I say? I have an abnormally long neck.



Kelvin, Purity, Anne and another friend in the village of Rwika. Loves of my life.


The waver, as we called him. I light up with joy just looking at pictures of his sweet face.


The whole team in front of our hotel outside of Rwika

My mom with me and her future grandchild (I wish), Gift. Seriously, I was hoping she was a gift for me. She obviously loves having her picture taken with us.

My mom, Anne, Anne, Anne and I. If you forget a girl's name, it's probably Anne :) These three were definitely named Anne :) And I am obsessed with each of them.

Identity

I've been thinking a lot this week about identity. I've come to the realization that who or what you identify yourself with has a huge impact on every aspect of your life. The things I have identified myself with throughout my life have changed as I've grown, and my outlook and feelings have morphed drastically given those changes. When I was a child I identified and aligned myself most with my family, and because of that I felt safe and lived a simple, mostly worry-free life, minus the head-to-heads I'd have with my brother (usually over the fact that he wouldn't let me play legos or hockey with him -- not that I'm bitter or anything) because my family was loving and stable. In 5th grade I changed schools and identified myself as an outsider. I had no friends at first and was surrounded by people who had tons of close friends. Because of these feelings of alienation I strove to befriend whoever I could, however I could. I would say what I thought people wanted to hear and spread myself thin, and those two things worked together to hurt me. By the middle of 6th grade I was back to having no friends, and was surrounded by people who didn't like me at all because of things I'd said and lies I told that hurt them. In high school I identified myself with my friends, whom I must preface by saying that I loved and continue to love dearly. But I felt the pressure of being in a somewhat "popular" and fast-moving crowd, and that pressure combined with my self-consciousness at the time turned into an unhealthy thing. I went against what I felt was right and did things I thought would keep me in that crowd and would uphold that identity.

And then I went to college and began to identify myself first and foremost as a Christian, and everything changed. I began seeing myself as a beloved and perfectly made child of God first and foremost, one that God gave everything for. Knowing that and putting that in the front of my mind every day completely changed who I was, how I saw things, what I prioritized and what I was motivated to do. I was free from the unhealthy identities I once had, and was now free to live a life of love, joy and health. Each day I learn more and more about that identity. I don't feel tempted to do what I used to be tempted to do because I know that those things won't lead me to joy and fulfillment, and they plainly just aren't attractive to me. When I wasn't in a dating relationship, I didn't feel the desperate need for that because I knew that God's love was enough and that His timing is always perfect. I'm able to love more fully and give grace more abundantly than before because I'm aware of the grace and love bestowed upon me with every breath of air that fills my lungs. I'm not saying that life is perfect, or that I am perfect by any means now that my identity is in Christ (far from it!), but I'm saying that in all circumstances there is a reason for me to have hope and joy in something so much greater than anything this world can throw at me. And that is more freeing than anything I've experienced before.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

Paradise

If Hawaii is just a taste of the beauty in heaven, then I'm beyond excited. I just got back from a fun-filled, amazing week in Maui with my parents, younger brothers, grandmothers, boyfriend, and family friend, and it was incredible! God's creation constantly leaves me in awe, and I feel so blessed to have the people in my life that I do. Here are some pics. Try to quell your jealousy :)

The whole group

My parent's anniversary dinner -- 29 years! Woohoo!!

Ziplining -- sooo fun!

My brothers and their friend, Patrick, posing with hula dancers after the luau

My dad getting ready to tee off

Our last dinner in Maui :(

Confirmation Retreat

So, I am extra sleepy this week. The time change and the confirmation retreat were a deadly combination. No worries though, because the retreat was amazing and God blessed me through it in so many ways. I get to work with the coolest junior high and high schoolers on the planet. I learn so much from them it's ridiculous. I saw Jesus through each of them in so many ways this weekend. Our theme was "The Body of Christ" and it was so neat to see them come together as one body. By Saturday night I felt as though all the cliques that came up in the bus on retreat had diminished and become one big clique. Everyone loved each other -- genuinely and sincerely. It was so cool to see them apologizing for wrongs they had done and for things they had left undone, and to see them all laughing and crying together. The Body of Christ is such a neat thing and I am feeling especially blessed to be apart of that body today.

Two Months?!?!

I haven't blogged in two months?! What's wrong with me? While I'm not sure if many people--if any--read my ramblings, if you do, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. So what I've been realizing over the past couple months is how much I like to play God. I'm a little bit of a control freak. And, while I'm working on it, I'm someone who finds the idea of the sufficiency (is that a word?) of God's grace a little hard to grasp. I want there to be some way I can earn heaven, if even just a little bit. If I'm being completely honest (gulp), I want to be able to get up to heaven one day and show God all my bells and whistles, all the good deeds I've done in His name and out of love for Him. I want to be able to show Him that I'm not like those who strayed away from Him and into the arms of deception, greed and the service of self. I want to be able to earn awards for each good deed I do, so that one day I can show them off to God. Gross, I know. And then I stumbled upon Luke 18, The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector:

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Eek. I am the Pharisee and I so desperately want to be the tax collector. The tax collector was so convinced of God's power and holiness, and of his own powerlessness and filthiness, that he could do nothing but lay prostrate at the feet of his Savior begging for mercy and love. Isaiah 64 says that even our righteous deeds are like filthy rags -- or more accurately and distastefully, like rags women use during that time of the month -- before God. All that can save us is the mercy and love poured out for us at Calvary. And the Pharisee didn't get that, and that's what scares me. He thought that with all his good deeds he was closer than most to heaven and salvation, and this thinking was the very thing that made him so far away from the very things he thought he was reaching.

May God our Father bestow His grace upon you to expose your sin and His Holiness so that you can do nothing but lay at His feet, relying on His power alone.