Severe Mercies

First, I need to ask for your mercy (if there are any of you still checking in on this thing, which is doubtful) for neglecting this space for three months. Oops. Please forgive.

As I've been reflecting on 2011 and preparing for 2012, one piece of scripture that has proven itself in the past year, and is the mindset I hope I carry with me throughout '12 is Philippians 4:4-7: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I love Paul's one word command to the Philippians -- Rejoice! Always! Looking back on the past year, there are points when I did the very opposite of rejoicing -- I grieved, worried and questioned God. Seeing the place the trials of 2011 have taken me to today makes me want to dance with joy. In the worst times that 2011 brought, I had reason to rejoice, because God was near, and was working all things for my good out of His love for me. I didn't need to worry about the curve balls thrown at me, or the direction my life was going, because I was in God's hands.

I can so identify with what Elisabeth Elliot calls God's "severe mercies." God had and has such better plans for us, as His people, than we had and have for ourselves apart from Him, and His mercies in our lives sometimes inflict pain because they tear us from the things we sinfully cling to, in order to direct us to the better plans and purposes God has for us. What a celebration, when the morning comes and we are able to see how God proved Himself faithful amid our despair and unbelief. Such a weird and amazing feeling to be able to rejoice over the very thing that once brought so much pain.

May you rejoice, trust and pray in all circumstances in 2012, knowing that your Lord is near and wants to fill you with His life and peace.

Our "Christian" Nation?

My brother, Evan, posted this article on my Facebook page, and I've been stewing on it for days now. First of all, it must be said that Tom Ehrich looks very dapper in his circa-1995 glasses, and what looks to be a jean business jacket (but to my dismay is most likely not). But, I digress. Not much about the article needs to be said because Ehrich says it all. All I can add is that I agree. And I feel convicted. And I don't know that we can ever be that Christian nation we claim to be this side of heaven. But I pray we can, and that person by person, we transform into a better picture of what Jesus would have our nation be. Christian means "little Christ." Looking at our consumer-driven, power-hungry, every-man-for-himself nation, I find it pretty audacious of us to label ourselves as a little-Christ. I can only imagine what Jesus would say... if there were words to express His sadness.

I needed a mirror...

...and the book Radical has provided me exactly that. Let me explain. This summer our Monday night high school group has been studying Radical, written by David Platt. It has rocked my world and has begun answering the questions from my last post in ways I didn't see coming. Last night our small group took a look at the great commission -- something we study all the time in churches. Platt's point on the commission is that it's not an option, it's a command. Jesus demands that we "Go and make disciples of all nations." Not just your nation. Not just the nations that you're comfortable being in. We, the body of Christ, are to go to ALL nations. The peaceful and war-torn, the just and the corrupt, the rich and the poor. All. And as much as I can point to another part of that body and say that Jesus is commanding them to go to the war-torn, corrupt and poor, He's given me a hearty reminder and conviction that that command is for me. His plan of salvation for those in places that have not received the good news is through me (and the rest of His body). And while God never falls short, I do.

How has this begun answering my last post's doubts and questions? Let me explain. God has provided for all people. He has provided a way to meet their spiritual, as well as their physical, needs. The truth is that there is more than enough food, wealth and provisions to provide for all of God's creatures on this earth. He has made sure of it, and looking at how much we have in the US that we store up, hoard and waste, it is blatantly apparent that the resources are there. It's not God who has neglected His people. It's us, in our sin, who are failing to allocate God's provisions as He wills and desires. It's not His love that fails; it's mine, it's yours, it's ours. The saying "To whom much is given, much is required" has biblical roots and eternal truth engrained in its core. We are blessed with what we need, and are asked by God to take only that and then to do what it takes to get the rest to those who are in need of those very same things. The tragic thing is that our world will never be that idealic place where all look out for one another -- not this side of heaven at least. But the beautiful thing that I am clinging to today, especially considering the tragedy occuring in Somalia and so many other places in our world today, is that, as Elisabeth Elliot said, "God's story never ends with 'ashes'." If only I could see how I can give my all to putting an end to the ashes on this earth, and from there to have the selfless, bleeding heart willing to carry that out. That is the hard part.

I'm only human

I spent some time stewing on Romans 8:28-39 this past weekend, as it was the focus of the sermon series and bible studies at my church, and while it is a piece of scripture I know well (I have clung to it many times when it felt like my world was falling apart or the sky was falling down on me in some way), it is such an importantly true and uplifting piece of God's Word to reflect back on. If you have not read it and digested it, do it now! To think about how Big and powerful God is -- above anything I can see, feel or come up against -- starts to blow my mind when I think about it too long. And to think that that God Loves little me unconditionally and unceasingly fills me with hope and peace knowing that no matter my circumstances, God is there and will use them for my good, even when my feelings or doubts tell me otherwise.

Here's the reason for the title of the post -- I will admit that I am having trouble digesting part of it, as my human mind can't comprehend how part of it can be true. In verse 35 Paul asks, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" In the context of the text, it proves to be a rhetorical question, with the implied answer being no one. No one and no thing can separate us from the love of Christ. Then he goes on to talk about things that can't and won't separate us from the love of Christ. He lists hardship, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger and sword. I'm with him on hardship, persecution, danger and even sword. I know -- and have experienced with some of those things (haven't come up against a sword yet) -- that God's love is bigger than those things and is there when we face them, promising us help, strength and deliverance in God's time and plan. Here's my beef with Paul, and my question for God -- I don't see where God is in famine and nakedness. Having spent time in areas ravaged by famine and poverty, I have faces and hearts that come to my mind's eye when I think of these things. And they are beautiful, precious faces and hearts, many of whom have cried out to God in their plight. And God promises in Matthew 6 that He will hear them, answer them and provide for them. And yet, too many die each day from malnutrition and go without clothes.

So I guess this is where faith and humility step in. Humility knowing that He is God and I am not, and in that my view is infinitely smaller than His and forever tainted with sin, which keeps me from seeing as He sees. And faith that, having seen and felt God's love triumph circumstances in my life and use them for good, He can and will do the same for those who are going without in ways I can't begin to imagine. I just hope that on that day I reach the pearly gates, He grants me the grace to answer what to Him must seem like some ridiculously silly questions. 

Nashsplash 2011

So Dave Matthews knows what he's talking about. It turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters. I got back on Tuesday from an amazing weekend with new and old best friends, and, while it didn't hurt that I was in my favorite place (Nashville) playing in waterfalls, dancing at a jamboree, climbing cliffs and swimming in a lake, what made the weekend so fantastic was the people I was with. If my trip was a little taste of heaven then I can't wait for the fellowship that awaits us there. I too easily forget what blessings laughter, joy, and friendship are; even moreso, I too often forget that God created those things out of his love for us and desire to see us emotionally and spiritually fed, free and alive. And today, I feel exactly that.

Psalm 22

Reading Psalm 22 this Saturday between the bookends of Good Friday and Easter Sunday I am struck by the realization that God's plan is so far beyond me, was intricately designed and is so beautifully and heartbreakingly perfect. And that puts my soul at rest this morning. Because, if God did not spare His own Son from the pains of life (the deepest of which he experienced) in bringing about His glory, peace, joy and hope, then I rejoice that He does not spare us from those pains either.

Jesus came down to this earth knowing that his final destination -- the pinnacle of His journey -- was to be the cross and all of the shame, abuse and mocking that came with it. And He went forward without batting an eye because He knew that His people were worth it. And He knew that from it all -- after the pain and sorrow had come and gone -- would come unending joy. And this morning I rest in that.

This life promises struggles and sufferings, and when I think back to my personal encounters with the cross I remember the hurt and the moments of hopelessness I have experienced. I remember times filled with seemingly unending darkness, and I wouldn't want God to spare me from one moment of that. I rejoice in every struggle because through those times of weakness God was able to prove His strength, to refine my faith and character, and to move me one step further on the perfect path He has set before me. Now, don't get me wrong. When I'm going through those times of loss, they hurt. Bad. So badly that in the moment, I have absolutely cried out to God, asking Him why and how he could do this to me. But, once I finished my journey through those dark tunnels, I was able to marvel in the joy of the light of day all the more.

Jesus' journey was no accident. And Psalm 22 reminds me that each detail of His passion was perfectly orchestrated far before any of them came to be. And, today, I rejoice knowing that our God is a God of details and love. May your Easter weekend be abundantly blessed knowing what was done out of unending love for you. 

Wise Words from a Wise Woman

At some point in college I watched the documentary "Beyond the Gates of Splendor," and amid the hundreds and hundreds of films I watched in my film classes at USC (fight on), I remember this one vividly. If you have not seen it, I would highly recommend that you remedy that as soon as possible. It tells of the incredible story of five missionaries in a remote part of Ecuador in the 1950's. They were killed by the natives of the area, and took the lashings without fighting back, knowing that their own deaths would lead them to the gates of heaven, while their aggressors had not yet heard the good news of Jesus and therefore might not have had such a hope after this life. One of those missionaries was Jim Elliot, and his wife, Elisabeth, is an incredible woman. She returned to Ecuador to minister to the very people who killed her husband a few years earlier, and lived among them for two years. She has experienced suffering and has displayed courage beyond that which I can begin to comprehend, and I feel blessed to be able to glean so much from what the Lord has taught her through her life's experiences.

I was searching for a particular quote of hers for a bible study I led last night, and I came across some profound, some simple, and some profoundly simple things she said that I wanted to share. I am especially blessed by them knowing that her story is one that included times of devastating, earthly pain, suffering and uncertainty.

"I have one desire now -- to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it."

"God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- severe mercies at times, but mercies all the same. God never denies us our heart's desire except to give us something better."

"This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God's way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness."

"Let me be a woman, holy through and through, asking for nothing but what God wants to give me, receiving with both hands and with all my heart whatever that is."

"Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with 'ashes'."

"Our vision is so limited that we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. That was the proof of his love -- that He gave that Son, that He let Him go to Calvary's cross, though 'legions of angels' might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us -- not from anything that it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process."

"Because God wills me joy, I will trust Him with my tragedies."